Tanja Alexandra Kern



“Health, wealth, beauty, and genius are not created;
they are only manifested by the arrangement of your mind—
that is, by your concept of yourself,
and your concept of yourself is all that you accept and consent to as true.”
— Neville Goddard

Dearest reader, I just wanted you to know that I think you are Amazing!

How does it feel to receive this compliment?
Can you receive it and own it?
Or is your mind rejecting these words because it tells you that you are not quiet perfect and therefore can’t really be amazing.
In order to cultivate self-acceptance and embrace ourselves with all our little imperfections, we first have to change old belief systems, habits, and patterns.

Is your mind continuously repeating negative self-talk, criticizing, comparing, or judging you?
Do you hold expectations, and when those are unmet, feel disappointed and sad?
Is your mind making up stories about the worst outcome scenarios, leaving you feeling low, and worried?
And may all this keep you from following your heart and living your full potential?

In today’s society most of us grow up comparing ourselves to others. Media aims to make us believe that happiness lies in the external qualities, like beauty, wealth, success, and money.
Growing up, people may have criticized/teased/challenged you and because you were young, you started believing that those words were true about yourself.
Many of us, maybe especially women, struggle with self-criticism, and judgements, like “I am too tall/short/big/skinny…” “My (xyz bodypart) is too thin/thick/small/big…” and when asked about what they like about themselves many women immediately start talking about what they don’t like about themselves. And no matter how beautiful, successful and wealthy, most women still tend to have a negative body image, at least about some parts of their bodies.

The truth is, that these are all stories we tell ourselves and the more we repeat them, the more we believe them.
Do you honestly think that your best friend would even notice those things about you? She or he would probably be able to tell you all the wonderful things that are special about you!

I realized at some point in my life that I struggled with the judgement of “not being good enough”. My coping strategy was to work on endless to-do lists, and keep constantly busy to proof that I was worthy, smart, and lovable. Although I was working hard on my tasks, my perception was that I wasn’t completing them fast enough, should have already been way ahead on to the next project, etc. This strategy certainly distracted me but left me feel stressed and depleted.
Well, feeling stressed usually does not help with cultivating self-acceptance, and so I was grateful that I eventually become aware of my pattern.
Today I still have to-do lists but I try not to fret about them anymore but use them to get those things of my mind and onto paper, where I can work them off one by one. And when I get stressed or start to procrastinate I remind myself that I am actually passionate about what I do. I love writing articles, creating new yoga sequences, or preparing workshops. All it takes is for me to get started. I like to motivate myself by getting a nice cup of tea, diffuse essential oils or burn some incense, light a candle or decorate my workplace with flowers. Every time my mind starts to wander, I take a sip of tea, smell the lovely aromas in the room and focus again on the task at hand.

Also, I used to put myself last and then often felt resentment for not getting my own needs met. Over time, and with the practice of yoga, aromatherapy, life coaching, and energy work, I came to realize that it is me that I need to take care of first. Only when I am healthy, whole, well, balanced, happy, and at peace, can I help others. Only what we have can we give.

So, this is gentle reminder for you, dearest reader, to take some time to invest in self-care.
Most women put family, jobs, and lifestyle first. It is so important to take care of yourself first. You will be surprised of how much easier it becomes to give to others when your own needs are met. You may consider to commit to a regular yoga practice, short mediation, or other activity to invest in your health and well-being.

I invite you to let go of telling yourself negative stories about yourself (or others). The first step is to become aware of those thoughts, and then consciously release them and replace them with a positive thought or affirmation. It is important that you start believing those new messages and look at yourself with kindness. Also, gratitude shifts our perspective and let’s us see how grateful we can truly be for who we are, our health, our body, eye sight, etc.

Let go of trying to be somebody else or to live up to somebody else’s expectations. Be true to yourself! Treat yourself and others with kindness, respect, and love.
Be easy on wanting to be perfect or in control. Open yourself to be in the flow of life. Embrace every moment. Cherish, appreciate, and enjoy the now, because it is always all there is.
And try to let go of resistance and expectations, as they only hold you back. One of my cherished readers put it in such beautiful words.

“Resistance and expectations are but rocks in the river of life.
The water flows around and through us regardless.
So, we may as well run with the current, and laugh.”
~ John Pierce

See what you can learn from every situation. Begin to accept yourself just the way you are. Know that you are doing your best at any given moment. Look at your accomplishments and unique skills. You may think that you are only doing what life asks of you to do. Usually your special skills come easily to you so you might not recognize them. It may be that you are an amazing listener, entertainer, speaker, writer, musician, an incredible mom/dad or teacher, coach, mentor, write poetry, volunteer, rescue animals, cook delightful meals, are a courageous entrepreneur, or so much more.


I encourage you to find your unique gifts and share them with others!
Shine your light into the world!



I put together a short yoga flow sequence that combined with affirmations will remind you of how amazing you truly are!
You will find it in your inbox next week, so stay tuned!

Please let me know your thoughts, feedback, or comments. Please also share this article with your friends and invite them to sign-up for the newsletter, or follow Mendocino Healing on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter.

With gratitude, blessings, and appreciation,


Tanja Alexandra Kern




Tanja, YOU are amazing!!!
Love your article- how true it is! Thanks for reminding us. What a coincidence, while I am taking care of me, I get your message. Looking forward to that yoga sequence!
Greetings from Frankfurt

October 20, 2016

Thank you, dear Charlotte, for your lovely comment on the article.
It’s wonderful to hear from you. Hope you are doing well.
The very best wishes to you!

October 20, 2016

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