Tanja Alexandra Kern

Greetings and welcome to part 3 of our “The Secret of Self-Empowerment” exploration.

Have you been able to practice the previous tools? How has it been going for you?

As you begin to apply the new tools in your daily life, I encourage you to show yourself lots of compassion along the way. We all make mistakes and don’t always follow the principles of self-empowerment. That’s okay. You are reading this and that shows that you are ready to embrace a new way of thinking. Open yourself to new possibilities and treat yourself (and others) with respect and kindness.

Let’s look at step no. 4:

4. Stop Comparing, Judging and Criticizing Yourself

“Get Off The Scale!
You are beautiful. Your beauty, just like your capacity for life, happiness, and success, is immeasurable. Day after day, countless people across the globe get on a scale in search of validation of beauty and social acceptance.
Get off the scale! I have yet to see a scale that can tell you how enchanting your eyes are. I have yet to see a scale that can show you how wonderful your hair looks when the sun shines its glorious rays on it. I have yet to see a scale that can thank you for your compassion, sense of humor, and contagious smile. Get off the scale because I have yet to see one that can admire you for your perseverance when challenged in life.
It’s true, the scale can only give you a numerical reflection of your relationship with gravity. That’s it. It cannot measure beauty, talent, purpose, life force, possibility, strength, or love. Don’t give the scale more power than it has earned. Take note of the number, then get off the scale and live your life. You are beautiful!”
~ Steve Maraboli

Have you ever noticed how your thoughts affect your health and well-being?

Our mind is super powerful and therefore it is crucial to understand and control it. We have the choice to either entertain random thoughts and negative self-talk, or transform the thoughts into positive energy and manifest our dreams.

What are you choosing?

“I have often wondered how it is that every man loves himself more than all the rest of men,
but yet sets less value on his own opinion of himself than on the opinion of others.”
~ Marcus Aurelius

So how do these negative thoughts, comments, and judgements get there?
As young children we don’t know how to deal with criticism unless someone takes the time to help us understand and learn our lesson. Usually we start believing what is being said and absorb the negative words like a sponge into our unconsciousness. Over time we begin to repeat the words, now criticizing ourselves. Our conditioning has been set and the patterns, negative thoughts, and self-image are on replay in our mind.
We usually continue the pattern by comparing ourselves to others, e.g. on social media, to celebrities, coworkers, classmates, etc.
This way we end up comparing our internal emotional state to the external appearance of others. It’s important to remember to most people only post their photos when they are happy, smiling, enjoying a great vacation or mastered a new yoga pose. We usually don’t see what’s really happening in their lives, how many times they may feel angry, sad, upset, are worried, or fall out of their yoga pose.
We are all here to share our love and gifts with others. When we make ourselves feel inferior, we hide our potentials behind self-imposed walls.

The tricky thing and first step is to become aware of our inner dialogue! How do you talk to yourself?
Do you compare yourself to others, like for example to more advanced yoga practitioners in your class? Do you judge yourself for being stuck, too slow, procrastinating too much, too young/old, not pretty/handsome enough, etc.?
You may tell yourself that once you overcome this particular obstacle, then you can be happy. But when you wait for something to change before you can be happy, you are fooling yourself. There will be always something else to achieve. Don’t get me wrong. I am a firm believer in following your heart, setting powerful intentions and manifesting your dreams! However, the time to be happy and in a state of acceptance is now, in the present moment. Then expand that happiness as you begin living the life of your dreams.

So what are some things you can do?
If you practice yoga, find a studio that offers a safe space for you express yourself, feel your emotions, and stay true to your needs. Find a class, workshop or community that listens, offers compassion, support and encouragement.

When you are by yourself and have negative thoughts come up, try replacing them with a positive affirmation. So if your thoughts tell you that you are inferior/”less than”, replace the pattern with an affirmation like “I am enough.” “I am worthy.” Embrace and feel the words as you repeat them throughout your day.
Instead of comparing yourself with others, come back to your breath, and listen to your heart.

“You have been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked.
Try approving of yourself and see what happens.”
Louise L. Hay

Below please find some affirmations by Louise Hay that you might like to use. And of course you can always create your own ones. Find something that works for you.

  • As I change my thoughts, the world around me changes.
  • I am a unique gift to the world.
  • I am loved and accepted exactly as I am, right here and right now.
  • I am receiving the best that life has to offer now.
  • I have unlimited potential. Only good lies before me.
  • I know that I can create miracles in my life.

I am here to remind you that you are amazing and to cheer you along your journey of self-empowerment!

Please let me know how this article resonates with you. Your comments, and feedback are very much appreciated!

Many blessings from my heart to yours,


Tanja Alexandra Kern


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