― Mahatma Gandhi
― Martin Luther King Jr.
Have you ever been holding a grudge? Then you know how uncomfortable it feels to hold on to resentment, anger and hurt towards someone else or yourself.
You really only have two choices here: the first one is to continue defending your point of perception and to hold on to negative emotions. This choice, however, will only hurt yourself. Bitterness creeps in as you hold on to the negative and it will become harder to change your way of thinking about that event or person.
“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.”
― Mark Twain
The second choice would be to let go of old grudges. This will release the past and any negative emotions related to the event or person, and will free yourself up to move on.
To free yourself from the bondage of negative emotions allows you to unload the heavy burden you have been carrying and to open yourself up to inner healing, renewed energy and inner peace. To forgive does not mean that you accept or approve of the hurtful behavior, event or happening. It means that you have learnt from the situation, accept the differences, acknowledge what is, understand, if possible emphasize and move on.
Remember that the most important person to forgive is yourself. So start by finding forgiveness in your heart for all the mistakes in the past and negative emotions you are holding towards yourself.
“To err is human, to forgive, divine.”
― Alexander Pope
Here are some steps to support you on your path to forgiveness.
- Acknowledge what it is that you wish to forgive yourself or someone else about without dwelling on the situation.
- Practice non-judgement and compassion (just like in your yoga class) towards yourself and the other person. We all make mistakes. Remember that we all do our best and we have to learn our lessons in life to become who we are today. Can you try sending love and compassion to yourself, the other or the situation and see how that shifts your energy?
- Refrain from making up ‘stories’. Remember that it is your perception of the situation. The other person might see things differently and may not even be aware that they offended you.
- Be proactive. Don’t wait for an apology or the other person to come around. You can find inner healing, peace and completion by forgiving now. If you are ready to talk to the person, reconnect to them and have a non-judgmental, open conservation to clear the air. If you choose not to face the other person, you can write a heartfelt letter (and then burn it) to fully resolve the issues.
Forgiving and letting go of the past, opens yourself up to be in the present moment with all its unlimited possibilities and to create the future with your new intent.
“True forgiveness is when you can say, “Thank you for that experience.”
― Oprah Winfrey
“Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.”
― Oscar Wilde